


Reset

by joyfuljaeno



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 22:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyfuljaeno/pseuds/joyfuljaeno
Summary: jaemin’s memory restarts every time he turns a year older.jaemin fell in love at 17. jeno — a name he often uttered followed by, ‘i love you’. but when he turned 18, the syllable felt odd rolling off of his tongue. so familiar yet foreign.





	Reset

the warm hues of autumn was something jaemin had grown accustomed to. unlike everyone else, fall was his fresh start, a brand new beginning. august the thirteenth, to be precise. although jaemin was most familiar with this season, he was never fond of it.

there was just something about this period that seemed to put him off. there was always a voice screaming at the back of his mind — a message that had no chance of being successfully deciphered. additionally, he always felt as if he was forgetting something, but he could never put his finger to it.

jaemin first discovered what love was when winter was at its peak. the cold stung his skin but it didn’t seem to faze him when a warmth had begun blossoming from deep within him. he was seventeen and in love. it was a transfer student who had stolen his heart — lee jeno was his name. it wasn’t long before jaemin had taken jeno under his wing. it didn’t take too long for the two to grow off each other. jaemin’s feelings towards jeno bloomed. and it wasn’t only for the prettiest crescents his eyes formed, nor was it for his perfect bright smile. jeno resembled the missing puzzle piece he‘d been searching high and low for his entire life. love didn’t seem foreign when it came to jeno. its as if jaemin had fallen in love — particularly with jeno before. but how could that be possible when he had only transferred in weeks ago?

their love was but a countdown everyone was aware of. everyone but one. jaemin had not a single clue his time was coming. not ever. every passing year was a repeated cycle of the last. but it wasn’t the same for jaemin. what always felt like a brand new day for him, was but an old wound that was forced open for the people who cherished him.

as the clock ticked, the pink haired boy noticed how his boyfriend would grow reluctant of letting him free of his embrace. his touch would linger on his skin, the press of their lips lasted longer than the usual.

 

“its as if i’m about to leave you or something,” jaemin teases one day.

but only silence ensued. beads of tears rolled down jeno’s cheeks unknowingly. what seemed like a harmless joke was a heart-wrenching reality for jeno. not that jaemin knew anyway. jeno settles for a white lie before he leaned in to brush his lips against jaemin’s soft ones. the tears had stopped but the aching in his heart did not. an ongoing pain that would last for eternity, for as long as he loves jaemin. it was a dizzying spell jaemin had cast on him, one that could not grant him a happy ending he desperately wished for. 

but for jaemin, he would go through it all over again. 

and so he did. 

 

august the thirteenth. jaemin wakes up to splashes of red and yellow outside his window. the air was warm, and so were the colors the season had welcomed him with. but his heart felt awfully cold to the touch, as though no amount of heat could melt the ice that had engulfed his heart. 

he was never fond of autumn anyway. 

his gaze falls onto a leaf that had mysteriously made its way in the comforts of his room. he picks it up and notices scribbles of letters written on it.

“beginnings and endings are bittersweet, just like the love we share. i’ll come back for you just like i always do — in every beginning and ending — i’ll search for you, and i’ll love you, i promise. i love you, jaemin.”

and for the first time, his heart aches like it has never done before. a sense of longing fills him, but for who exactly? jaemin finds himself uttering a name — “lee jeno.” the syllable rolled off his tongue so naturally, as though he’s called out to this person before.

but he doesn’t remember. 

the two lovers trapped in a loop that guarantees no end. and time has stopped for one but not the other. and so the countdown begins again.

**Author's Note:**

> just a short write up of one of my angst prompts i have so far. hope it wasn't too bad! also, tell me what you think about this! feedbacks are appreciated. you can find me @joyfuljaeno on twitter ^^


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